Grocery Shopping

I remember shopping at the A&P when I was younger in NJ with my Abuelita and/or with my mom. So clean, so nice. Heck, one of my friends worked there while we were in high school. I loved this place and they always hooked me up with a free donut. What! What!

Then there is VONS. For those of you on the WEST SIIIIIIDE of the USA, this is more familiar to you.
It smells good once you walk in and they have this amazing cheese bread thing in the bakery. Yummy in my tummy!

Then in the Midwest, there is Jewel-Osco. ONLINE SHOPPING? ENOUGH SAID.

For those of you residing in South Florida like myself, there is Sedano's Supermarket. Close your eyes. Picture yourself in Havana, Cuba minus the beautiful beaches, exotic looking people and beautiful scenery. It smells awful in here, but at times their sales are pretty good. This week my Abuelita found gallon milk for 2/$5.00. Not bad I know, but this place isn't the greatest.

Wal-Mart is a nationally recognized store where we all know one thing about it-CHEAP! Yes, it's cheap-from clothes, to shoes, to underwear, to toys, to cards, to jewelry, to bags, to groceries. The store has a great concept, especially those Super Wal-Mart where you can even get an oil change while you shop 'til you drop. Here's the thing: how come in South Florida all of the Wal-Marts are DISGUSTING. The ones in Orlando, not bad. The ones in New Jersey, not bad (I'm not talking about Newark). The ones in Las Vegas, clean. The ones in Chicago, delightful. What the heck happened to South Florida? The only reasonable time to go is at 9:30 on a random Tuesday morning. Even on Friday nights. It's crazy. Baby Momma is there with her 8 kids causing an uproar in the store while there is only one cashier available to ring up the whole dang store. True story.

Next up is.............drum roll please.............................................

PUBLIX SUPERMARKETS WHERE SHOPPING IS A PLEASURE. Their slogan is 100% on point. Shopping is always a pleasure when I go to Publix. It smells magnificent, the people that work there are so nice and helpful. Even the managers are always in sight and ready to answer any question you may have for them. Sure, they are a bit more overpriced than Wal-Mart and sometimes Target, but it's clean and doesn't smell like toe jam. Every Thursday they have new sales and they always change! Last week, they have Ruffles chip buy 1 get 1 free, this week is Lay's chips that are buy 1 get 1 free. Their buy 1 get 1 free sales is really what "sells" me. Again, they change every Thursday and to view their weekly ad go to www.publix.com then click on Save Here and a drop down menu will come up. Just click on "Weekly Ad" and see what's on sale before you make the drive.

Sunday nights just got a little more interesting...

I love NBC. Not only did they give me MUST SEE TV that included "Seinfeld", "Friends", and "Mad About You" to name a few, but they also give great news documentaries. The "Today Show" is pretty awesome and before I became the ultra sensitive mommy that I am, I used to watch it every morning with Katie Couric and Matt Lauer. I do watch it from time to time, but have to change the channel due to my sensitivity to issues of the world. I'm a crybaby, people. It's OK.

They also have a show called "Dateline" that's an hour long documentary cases around the nation and sometimes worldwide issues. They take rare cases and elaborate on them a little more. Friday night their show featured a young British woman who was attacked by someone who threw acid on her face. Turns out the person behind that was a guy she went out on one date with a few weeks prior and the guy ended up raping her as well. Brutal, I know. And of course I cried, but these are just eye opening experiences for me.

There is a special that "Dateline" used to produce from time to time that was called "To Catch A Predator." It focuses on adult men who prey on minor online for sexual favors. ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING, I KNOW! But man, this stuff was hilarious.

There is a company called Perverted Justice that hires people to play decoys online as minors who are trying to nab the nasty pedophiles out there. That guy on the logo up there is Chris Hansen. He's the one with the cojones to actually get in a room with these pedos and interview them without them knowing. Here's how it works:

-The people at Perverted Justice, the people at Dateline, the police, and of course, Chris Hansen himself, rent out a house in a community and set up shop. They have installed security cameras everywhere imaginable in and around the house. They have police in the perimeter of the house and are ready to nab these pedos as soon as they walk out the house.

-Perverted Justice has a room in the house where they chat online to predators who think they are chatting with minors. They chat in a sexually explicit manner, which in some states is illegal. And sometimes these people send pictures of their privates. Gross again. But because it is illegal, that's how the cops can catch these suckers.

-Once contact is made between the decoy and the predator, the decoy tries to get the predator to come out to the house that NBC has rented out and when they go, that's when the fun starts.

-These disgusting perverts walk up in the house thinking they are going to get some from a minor, when little do they know....all of America is about to start laughing at their pathetic asses. So they walk up in the house and remember the whole house is filled with cops, security, NBC producers, Chris Hansen, and of course someone who sounds as if they were 12-14 years old so that once the predator comes in, the predator believes a minor is in the house. That's how they reel 'em in!

-Once these predators are inside, they walk to the kitchen where there is a table and stool and they sit down waiting. As they are waiting, Chris Hansen comes in through a door and scares the crap out of these guys. He approaches them as tells them to have a seat and tries to talk to these nasty men.

Chris Hansen also has the chat log between the pervert and the decoy set up by Perverted Justice. So if the idiot in red tries to lie, Chris Hansen will put his sorry ass on blast!!! For example:

Chris: How old did the decoy say she was?

Idiot: Oh, she said she was 18.

Chris: You sure about that?

Idiot: Yes! 18!

Chris: I have the chat log here and it CLEARLY states her saying she is 13.

Idiot: Oh, well....hmm.

Chris engages conversation between this guy and many others and lots of times you hear the idiots say they were just visiting, they weren't really going to have sex with the minors they thought they were talking to (oh, these men also brings condoms, lube, alcohol, toys. Yes, it's great TV), they were making sure the minor was OK. Then once all is said and done Chris says "Well, there's something you need to know. My name is Chris Hansen and I'm from Dateline NBC and we're doing a story on men who prey on minors online." The look on these men's faces are priceless.

These men are arrested and booked for different charges such as soliciting minors online for sex, transmitting pornographic images to a minor, and others. Remember, the whole point for this documentary is to arrest pedophiles in America, embarrass the hell out of them, and make sure they are put through hell. Mission Accomplished, NBC.

You can watch reruns of "To Catch A Predator" Sunday nights starting at 10pm on MSNBC. Holla!

Marvelous Marketing

How friggin' cute is this puppy? It's so teeny tiny! Look at it's paws, those cute little eyes, those baby little whiskers, the button nose!

Now that I am a night owl and can sleep at whatever time I want to, infomercials seem to be the thing to watch on late late late television. For the most part, I am NOT sold on any of those informercials I see. BUT DANG! Once you hear Sarah McLachlan start to sing "Angel"...come on...you KNOW what I'm talking about ...."In the arms of an angel..fly away from here" That's it. It was over for me. Waterworks shortly ensued.

It's a really heart-wrenching commercial for abused animals and I am not an animal lover, per say, but damn that commercial really hit me hard (and I wasn't even on my period). So I gave in. Damn those marketers!!!! They hit the money shot with those sad little puppy eyes and the damn song to match!!!! Oh well. At the end of the day, I am contributing to a great cause and I know lots of pet owners. Those pets are an addition to their family. It's deep yo! Hell, I don't even kill cockroaches anymore(Sorry, Chrissy)-they deserve to live too!

Forever 21?

At times I wish I was 21-no rent, no mortgage, no weird getting old diseases, good music played on the radio, you could fly anywhere in the continental U.S. for cheap, and cost of living wasn't so bad. But at the same time, I didn't have my child-my reason for living (awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, I know). But there are things that I do that can take me back to that age-

Shop-I am a woman. It is in my blood to shop.

Download music-I can download some old school Jay-Z and Nas and I'm good.

Getting my drink on-Anytime. Anywhere. Granted I don't drink as much, but I feel a little tipsy from time to time (case in point-yesterday).

Talking to some old school friends-Just reminiscing on the old times always puts a smile on my face.

Speaking of Forever 21-the store is pretty fabulous. I KNOW I cannot get more than half of the stuff there because, let's face it, I don't fit into their sizes. But man, sometimes I glance at their website and these little girls don't know how lucky they are! Supposedly, their sandals (the flats, of course) don't even hurt! Just a little something to think about next time you pass by the store and think you can't get anything. You never know.

www.forever21.com

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs..

These rain drops out here are so big they are the size of meatballs. The weather is so depressing outside-cloudy, raining, dark, gloomy. I feel like we are in London or something. I woke up thinking this would be a fun day with some friends. Well being that one friend is as reliable as a wet paper bag, that didn't happen. Another friend of mine came over and the weather got her sleepy so she took a nap but she just left to get all whored up for tonight. Where are we going? I don't know. Hopefully, alcohol will be involved. Nothing outdoors because of this weather, but hopefully it will be fun. Besides, I am fun. Drunk, sober, indoors, outdoors-I put the P in Party! Or so I'd like to think....

Holler For A Dollar!!

So the country is in a recession-blah, blah, blah. Everyone is broke-wah,wah,wah

Money is tight-boo-hoo-hoo

That doesn't mean you have to stay at home watching reality TV or Law & Order reruns while going to the kitchen every hour on the hour because you are hungry and bored. So not only are you broke, but now you are fat. When you're fat, what's the solution? The gym-another monthly expense that you don't need. On top of that, since you are broke and home all the time, you are also glued to the Internet and SPAM! You get hacked or a virus on your computer. Side note: if you are a PAYING Comcast customer (not you "customers" getting the Internet rigged by Comcast) then Norton Security is available to you for free. Or if you are a college student, your university should be providing some sort of anti-virus-security something for your PC or laptop.

When you are working, don't go out to eat all the time. As much as $20 a week (and that's lowballing it ) which equals $80 a month can go to waste. That could have been your gym membership, chunky monkey. If you must go out to eat, try Subway. Their $5 footlongs could be lunch for 2 days. Wendy's has a dollar menu which includes 5-piece chicken nuggets and a garden or Caesar salad. If you break the chicken nuggets into pieces, you've got yourself a crispy chicken salad. Little Caesar's $5 pizza come a long way, especially with the little ones, and they aren't THAT greasy. Paying for music online? WHY? When there are free sites where you can get music and feel safe with your Norton or McAfee security set up. :)

There are so many things to do that is low budget for everyone. Going to the pool with the kiddies (That's a work out and the water doesn't really make you hungry. When you get home, different story), even going out to eat, shopping for clothes (MACY'S ONE DAY SALE HAVE YET TO DISAPPOINT), outlet stores, etc. Get creative. Go online and research! It's out there! You can do it!

Are Good Men Are Hard To Find?

HELLS TO THE YES!

Just kidding my peeps. No, it's not hard at all. They are out there, ya know. Especially with match.com, eharmony.com, okcupid.com, plentyoffish.com (you catch my drift)out there.

You aren't "unlucky in love" or having bad luck. That's what life is all about. Sometimes you THINK you have shit all figured out then BAM! Life happens. And you know what? THAT'S OK! Sometimes you need to go through life alone for a minute to know that you can hold your own if need be. AGAIN. NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Society also has a view on what we should do with our lives-graduate high school, go off to college, maybe grad school, work in corporate America, meet someone, fall in love, get married, soon after have kids, and live happily ever after. Uhmmmmm, seriously?

For some folks, this has truly happened, but it was hard as hell to get to that "happily ever after" point. Some may have had a child, then finished school. Some may have finished their Master's Degree, have a house, but live alone. Ultimately, you can somewhat decide what you want to do to secure your future. By going off to college, you can safely market yourself with a little more confidence than the freshman college dropout with less than a year of real world experience.

Marriage is something that is very special and sacred and a necessity, depending on who you ask. For those of you that are married, I commend you tremendously because it is NOT easy. There is no ME in a marriage, it's US. To me that friggin' unheard of, but that is why I give you props. This is something I really don't picture myself doing. The only "US" I know is Alex and myself. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and it should also mean through thick and thin, nothing can that unity (I don't mean pulling a Tiger Woods on your significant other and thinking you can get away with it).

Cuba Libre

Living in South Florida, you are surrounded all kinds of people and different cultures. Living in the Miami Metropolitan Area, you are especially surrounded by Hispanics. Living in Hialeah, Florida, there are more Cubans than any other culture. For my last 2 years of high school, I went to Hialeah-Miami Lakes Senior High School so I got a taste of Hialeah for a little bit. Where else could you get a pizza and drink for $1.00 during lunch and bring your teacher back lunch so she doesn't mark you tardy? Then again, that was 1998 when open lunch was allowed. Fast forward to 2010 and the same school I went to high school with is an "F" school. "F" means of course failure. Failure in what, you ask? The Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test. This is a statewide test that assesses students progress (at least that's what Jeb Bush wanted Floridians to think). Is it a horrible test? No. It's pretty basic stuff for the grade-level student, but it is a high-stakes test and some of these principals just sit on their desks analyzing these scores and other testing scores. Sad, but true.

I got off track there but back to Hialeah. The city has changed in the last 10 years mostly because population has boomed and of course, the recession. I hardly ever go to Hialeah unless I need a manicure, pedicure, or eyebrow wax ($25 for all 3. Can't beat that). Or if I want to grab a drink (50% off all drinks after 9pm every day) at Flanigans. I could go to Flanigans in PJs. That's how casual it is (for women at least. Some 40 year-old men who still live at home with their mom and abuela try to pick up women there. True Story).

Gotta love Hialeah-La Ciudad Que Progresa!

You can take the girl outta Jersey, but you can't take the Jersey outta the girl....

Jersey Shore 2 is set to return to our television screens on July 29th and judging from the trailer, it'll be a drunken debauchery taking place in Miami Beach. Miami Beach you ask? Well because it was too friggin' cold to tape in the Jersey Shore. They tape the show in Seaside Heights, New Jersey also known as SLEAZE-side Heights. Some people know I'm from there and I get asked all the time "Are all Italians like that?". I mean come on. Are we really going to base our opinion on Italians from one show? That's like me saying everyone from Hialeah, Florida are losers that never amount to anything (well...that one may be true. I kid. I kid.).

Do people fake bake up north? Yes, they do! Some even spray tan which is a lot better for your skin anyways. But you may end up looking like an oompa loompa.

Do people really use the term "Guido" and "Guidette" to describe these people you see on "Jersey Shore" ? Yup, again, very true. Pauly D didn't invent the blow out people. It's been a hott mess of a trend for a hot minute.

Does fist pumping really occur? Yes, it does. The ever-lasting beat of the house music blaring at the club will get any guido going at it with their fist like there is no tomorrow. It's funny, actually. Not my cup of tea, but pretty comical to watch.

Going down the shore during summertime is fun in the sun. When you are single and ready to mingle, it's better than any dating site, that's for sure. However, if you have a family, it may not be the place for you. Here in South Florida, South Beach is more for the sexy, single, sassy scene, while Hollywood Beach is more family oriented. Same thing in New Jersey. Except the water is muggy, murky, and kind of cold.